


Just give me a reason

by PiecesFallingFromMe



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-24 00:06:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8348206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PiecesFallingFromMe/pseuds/PiecesFallingFromMe
Summary: Because love like this, it's written in the stars. And written in their hearts.





	

I knew things with Penny weren't going to last forever. I think in my heart, if I'm honest with myself, I knew I would never truly fall in love with her.

Love her? I could have loved her, that would have been easy. But I was never going to be _in_ love with her.

Not like I was in love with Arizona.

So, it's probably best that things ended now. She's a resident, she needs to focus on her career. Which is exactly what she was doing by breaking up with me - I can't fault her that.

Even if it sucks.

I glance around the crowded bar again, scanning the women as they stand around drinking and talking and laughing. It's the same bar where I met Penny, and actually...a bar Arizona used to take me to all the time when we were dating. Her favourite nights were Saturdays, when they cleared the floor and turned it into a dance club, often belting out shameless 90s pop music. She'd drag me out whenever we had a free weekend and we'd dance til closing, completely blissful and flirty and lost in each others' laughter.

The bartender slides a second drink over to me and I pick it up with a polite smile, taking a small sip before I hear something that gives me pause.

I know that laugh.

Turning toward the sound, my eyes scan the room again until they land on the blonde peds surgeon - her unmistakable laugh floating musically toward me as she leans in to say something to the two attractive women in front of her. My stomach clenches almost painfully, and I instantly recognize the feeling for what it is - jealousy. Arizona looks beautiful. She always looks beautiful, and in that instant my head catches up to what my heart's been screaming for the last twenty-one months, what my soul has been longing for despite my desperate attempts to cut it off, to replace it with something else.

Her. It's always been her, and it always will be.

I glance over again as she walks away from the other women, weaving her way toward the bar with a slightly forced smile on her face for everyone she passes. She slides onto a bar stool and downs the last bit of her drink, and before I can stop myself, my feet are carrying me around the long, square counter until I can silently shift into the empty seat beside her.

The bartender catches my eye and I nod slightly toward the blonde.

"Another gin and tonic, on me."

Her head turns immediately toward me, crystal blue eyes flashing up in recognition at my voice, and she looks...surprised, shocked even, and then instantly curious.

"Callie...?"

"Hey."

I give her a small smile as the bartender sets a new drink down on the counter, and she tilts her head slightly as if studying me, an expression I can't quite read (when did that happen? I can always read her) crosses her face.

"You don't have to buy me a drink. I should be buying you one...I heard about you and Penny last week...I'm sorry."

Shrugging a shoulder slightly, I take a sip of my own drink - although now I want to pace myself. I want full control of my senses around her. I need full control.

"Thanks. She just...it wasn't," I shake my head, tossing her a smile, "it doesn't matter."

I glance behind us at the two brunettes she was talking to moments earlier, and meet her eyes curiously, brow raising in question.

"Looked like you were having a good time over there."

She swirls the straw in her drink a bit, a soft chuckle leaving her on a breath.

"I was. Until she told me that was her girlfriend."

I won't lie, a part of me is secretly happy to hear it. The brunette is gorgeous - they both are - but at least now I know my ex-wife won't be going home with either of them.

"Third time that's happened to me tonight, if you can believe it. I think I'm about to call it a night."

"Yeah, well, girlfriend or not - that's her loss. She doesn't know what she's missing."

The words are out of my mouth before I can process it, and I quickly grab my drink, taking a long sip to avoid looking up. I can feel the blonde's eyes on me though, and her arm brushes against mine ever so lightly as she leans it on the bar. She doesn't say anything, but now that it's out there my heart is pressing me to say more, to say everything, to finally put words to things I should have so long ago.

"Do you ever think about us? Still?"

"Callie..."

"I think about us, a lot actually," I interrupt, risking a quick glance at her before I divert my eyes back to my glass, "I have for a long time. I mean, I don't think I ever _stopped_ , that is."

Again, she doesn't reply, and although the bar is loud and crowded, all I can feel is the silence settling in the inches between us.

"It's just..."

I don't know how to go on; what I want to say. I don't know if it _matters_ anymore what I say, or if she really has moved on without me. She should have. It's been almost two years and she's beautiful, and smart, and kind, and amazing - I'm sure she's moved past us. Probably more successfully than I have.

"It's just...you know that feeling? When you don't know what move to make - you don't know where to cut. Everything you do seems to be wrong, but you just don't know what else you _can_ do anymore. Things are bleeding out everywhere and it's painful and terrifying and there's that moment of panic when you finally make what you think is the right move..."

I trail off softly, swallowing against the lump forming in my throat. The smaller woman is silent beside me, but she doesn't budge, the bare skin of her forearm still warmly touching mine.

"But you make that move," I go on, quietly - no point turning back now, "and it turns out to be the worst decision of your life."

Only a second passes before her voice finally replies, soft and low.

"I know that feeling, trust me."

I shift my glass a bit on the bar top, swirling the ice cubes lightly before I work up the nerve to turn and meet her eyes. I'm surprised to find her still watching me, surprised when my gaze finds hers and she holds it, unwavering. It gives me courage, and it stirs something deep inside me that is finally willing - and able - to reach out for what I know I want. What I've always wanted.

"Do you think...is there anything still between us, Arizona? Other than our daughter...is there...anything?"

The feeling that sweeps through me then and almost raises goosebumps on my skin is fear - fear that she's going to say no, fear that she'll confirm she's moved on, that I broke what was left of us when I chose to quit and leave, that she doesn't see me as anything more than her daughter's mother, her friend. But her hand shifts just a little and strong fingers come to wrap around my wrist, her thumb ever-so-lightly tracing over my skin.

"There's always been something between us. There's... _everything_ between us, Calliope."

"I broke us," I whisper, looking down at her hand before meeting those eyes again, "I broke it all."

"We both broke us," she murmurs, "but maybe we're...not broken. Just bent."

I swallow hard as I hear the words spill from her lips, and her gaze changes then, her eyes opening to me in a way they haven't in a very long time - in a way that's trusting, and honest, and...filled with love. It's unmistakable now, and I suddenly realize that maybe it hasn't ever gone away for her either...maybe she's been looking at me that way for the last two years and I just haven't been able to see it.

Turning in my seat so I can face her, I slide my arm away from her hand so I can grasp it lightly instead, running my fingers through and over hers almost delicately, like I'm afraid they might disappear at any moment.

"You make me feel so damn much."

She tilts her head in understanding, and she doesn't have to say anything for me to see that she gets it.

"You make me feel...god, Arizona," I let her hand go, running my fingers back through my hair, "you make me feel _everything_. From the minute I met you, you just...you took my breath away. My stole my heart - and I wanted you to, I wanted you to have it, to have every piece of me. And you still _do_."

I raise my hand and lightly trace my thumb along the curve of her jaw, marveling at the softness and warmth of her skin as she leans just slightly into the touch.

"The biggest mistake of my life was walking away from you. Not fighting for you, and for us - for the us I knew was in there somewhere, that I...hope still is. I know it's taken me way too long to realize, but I've come to see that the way you make me feel? No one else will ever do that. No one can even come close, because you are the love of my life, Arizona. You're it for me. I _love_ you, and I've never stopped."

Blue eyes are holding my gaze, and she reaches up for my hand, taking it in her own and twining our fingers until they lock together perfectly. Every word I've said tonight is true; it's the truth that I've been trying to ignore, trying to forget because it seemed easier that way. But for once in my life, I'm ready to take the hardest path in the world if it means I have a chance at getting her back.

She still hasn't spoken, and I can't tell if it's been seconds or hours because my heart is beating so loudly in my chest it almost makes me dizzy.

"And we can learn to love each other again, can't we?"

Her small hand squeezes mine then, and I bite my lip, holding back. She looks at me carefully, quietly, and then her voice finds my ears as she leans in and cups my cheeks in a tender caress.

"We don't need to learn, Calliope. I've never stopped loving you either."

I've never felt such a rush of feelings, such a sense of relief course through my body as I do at that moment - hearing those words from her, seeing the way she looks at me. Like we might stand a chance after all, after everything.

Her warm smile tugs at my heart and she leans in just a fraction closer, the scent of her perfume and shampoo and everything that's just _her_ washing over me at the same instant her lips connect with mine, kissing me softly and slowly and with every bit of feeling that I remember.

"Our love is enough."

_._

_._


End file.
